CONDI RICE IS JOINING THE ARMY

CONDI RICE IS JOINING THE ARMY

May 30, 2008

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was in Sweden attending a summit on Iraq and met Kiss as they came through town to play a sold-out show. Huffingtonpost.com reports on Condi’s experience:

“I was thrilled,” Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss frontman Gene Simmons and bandmates Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel

A late-night encounter with an insanely famous rock band at the Sheraton. Clearly, the story that the State Department doesn’t want you to know is that Condoleezza Rice got gang banged by Kiss, or Gene Simmons at the very least. Either way, we can safely say that Gene Simmons has racked up his 3,001st female conquest. If you can count Condi as a female. I’m pretty sure she’s not a dude, but there’s at least 50/50 odds she’s some sort of asexual robot. Fuck a robot once, and all the sudden you’re the kinky one in the group. Geeze.

No Comments » | Music, Politics | Tagged: Condoleezza Rice, Gang Bang, Kiss, Sweden | Permalink
Posted by chucktoddallstars

REID, PELOSI & DEAN UNITE: THE END IS NIGH

REID, PELOSI & DEAN UNITE: THE END IS NIGH

May 30, 2008

The AP writes:

Top Democratic leaders intend to push for a quick end to the battle for the presidential nomination when primaries are over next week, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said Thursday, adding that he, Speaker Nancy Pelosi and party chairman Howard Dean will urge uncommitted delegates to choose sides.

What the Three Stooges don’t understand is that the Clinton campaign is the Juggernaut, bitch! I would not be the least surprised if you tore Hillary’s skin off and found out that there really was a Terminator underneath. They’re gonna have to go after her like she was friggin’ Rasputin to take her out of this thing. My sources inside the Clinton camp also tell me that she once beat World’s Strongest Man Magnus Ver Magnusson in arm wrestling. Good luck, guys.

Did I mention that she’s basically unstoppable?

No Comments » | Politics | Tagged: Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi | Permalink
Posted by chucktoddallstars

BLACK GUY STEALS FROM HILLARY

BLACK GUY STEALS FROM HILLARY

May 30, 2008

Sen. Barack Obama’s church, The Trinity Church of Christ, is stirring up more trouble for him. Thursday night Fr. Michael Pfleger delivered a sermon there and took on Hillary Clinton. According to CBS News, he said:

I always thought she felt ‘This is mine. I’m Bill’s wife. I’m white. And this is mine. I just got to get up and step into the plate,’” he said. ”And then out of nowhere came, ‘Hey, I’m Barack Obama.’ And she said, ‘Oh damn, where did you come from? I’m white. I’m entitled. There’s a black man stealing my show.’

First Reverend Wright shows up with his chickens coming home to roost, now we’ve got Father Whatshisname saying God knows what. I know what the real problem is here. It’s Church. You can bet your sweet ass if Obama said he didn’t believe in God that would spread like wildfire, putting an end to the polling numbers that show 33% of Americans think he’s either Muslim or don’t know what religion he is. Instead of having to reject AND denounce guys like Hagee, Wright, and Pfleger, just reject and denounce God. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

Joke of the Day:

What do you when you see a black man running away with the Democratic Nomination?

Take it back, it’s probably yours!

No Comments » | Politics, Religion | Tagged: Barack Obama, Father Michael Pfleger, Hillary Clinton, Pastor John Hagee, Rev. Jeremiah Wright | Permalink
Posted by chucktoddallstars

HILLARY ‘MAKES YOU GO INSANE

HILLARY ‘MAKES YOU GO INSANE’

May 29, 2008

Pop star Ricky Martin, who will always be Miguel from General Hospital to me, has endorsed Hillary Clinton. Chuck Todd’s own First Read tells us what Mr. Martin has to say:

“Senator Clinton has always been consistent in her commitment with the needs of the Latino community….She has always fought for what is most important for our families.”

Sen. Clinton is the senator from New York. She and her husband are millionaires. Some have alleged that she lives in a romance-less, yet politically expedient marriage. Her husband has been unfaithful. Could it be? Ricky Martin?? The world may never know, but I will leave you with this verse from “Livin’ La Vida Loca”. Food for thought.

Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
she must’ve slipped me a sleeping pill
She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne
Once you’ve had a taste of her you’ll never be the same
Yeah, she’ll make you go insane.

No Comments » | Politics | Tagged: General Hospital, Hillary Clinton,Livin' La Vida Loca, Ricky Martin | Permalink
Posted by chucktoddallstars